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Maybole High Street earmarked for innovative leisure scheme

Maybole Town Regeneration is one of the hot topics in town. Over the next years residents can look forward to seeing a number of new schemes being implemented. Possible the most exciting development is an innovative leisure scheme.

'Maybole Alternative Facts' have had feedback from several interested parties, including representatives from the NHS, political parties and local businesses, who all agreed that the way forward is a combined leisure ticket to allow locals access to swimming pool, the golf course and an innovative "Mega-Billiard" course. This course will be created on the High Street. Similar schemes in other countries have been a huge success, with waiting lists for new members growing at some clubs.

If you have never heard of "Mega-Billiard", you'll be confused, just like we were when we first came across this.

So, how does "Mega-Billiard" actually work?

The idea is simple:

(1) Take any solid surface, such an asphalted road. Although the absence of potholes will assist beginners in achieving quick successes, it is not a requirement and potholes can make an average course much more desirable for experienced players. Early assessments indicate that potholes on Maybole High Street would qualify the course for international tournaments, provided SAC budget cuts are approved and no repairs are carried out.

(2) Provide players with over-sized billiard balls and queues. Typically balls are 2 feet in diameter and queues can be up to 4 metres long.

(3) Players aim to move their playballs along the course and bounce balls with scores into targets (called "pockets") along the way. Typically pockets would be derelict houses, designated front gardens and unused land. What the edges of the billiard table achieve in standard billiard, is replicated by bouncing balls off parked cars, houses, pedestrians, shopfronts. This will add a element of randomness, so a unique playing experience is guaranteed for every round of play.

Why is the NHS excited about it? - Consultant A.Y.R. Shire explained it to us:

"This is brilliant, it gets people out into fresh air, you meet plenty of others along the way so there's a social benefit as well. Using equipment that is bigger than in standard billiard means that players exercise different muscle groups and benefit from cardiac training. Even if you're not an active player, you can still participate in the fun, as players will try to bounce balls off you, you can make their game more challenging."

What do local businesses say:

"Fantastic stuff, I don't mind those balls bouncing off my windows. If the odd window breaks, I'll just apply for a grant in the next round of local funding - I'm doing my bit to bring locals together after all!"

"Yep, happy to stock a full range of equipment for players. This pub business stuff never took off around here, so I'll stop serving booze and instead cash in on the latest craze."

With this fabulous opportunity on the horizon, Maybole Alternative Facts would like to encourage all locals to stop reporting potholes to SAC. Continued reports might result in action that would jeopardize Maybole's chance to get on the map as a new prime world "Mega-Billiard" location.


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